One of the greatest hindrances that keep Christians from getting married is the idea that...
There is a right
person for me
That is to say that God created someone for you, before the
foundations of the earth. No, they are not perfect, but they were literally
made for you.
This is not true.
And its this untruth that keeps many believers from marrying
and staying married once they're hitched.
There are only 3 cases in the bible where God actually picks a
spouse for someone
1) Adam and Eve: Since Eve would
be the mother of the human race.
2) Isaac and Rebekah: Since Rebekah would be the mother of the Hebrew nation.
3) Hosea and Gomer: As an
example of His love for the backslider.
For everyone else, God won't intervene. He simply expects us to
use His character and person as a template and guide. For instance God
constantly warns the men of Israel not to marry pagan wives [1 Kings 11:1-2].
He made it clear that these women would take their hearts from Him. The New
Testament gives a similar warning [2 Corinthians 6:14].
What does all of this mean?
It means that we need to pay more attention to 'selection' than we
do to 'perfection'. How we select, is a better indicator of whether or not we
will get and stay married than how perfect the person is.
Are your expectations un-biblical? Its ok to want a lot, but if
you want a lot, but do not have what it takes to attract that in someone else,
this violates biblical principle, " [with
the measure you use when you confer benefits on others], it will be measured
back to you" [Luke 6:38 AMP]
Are your expectations too low? If you are just settling for
someone that looks great and can satisfy you in bed, you are still not picking
with Gods judgment. God wants you to select someone based
on character first and then they are safe for more intimate
interaction.
Remember, Gods not picking a mate for anyone. Rather, He wants you
to use His judgment to decide for yourself, and then work to make it last.
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